Havening Touch - A Gentle Technique for Calming Anxiety, Overwhelm, and Neurodivergent Nervous Systems
Many people try deep breathing or grounding exercises during moments of anxiety or overwhelm, but sometimes those techniques feel too activating or difficult to access. The havening protocol combines gentle touch, eye movement, and positive thought-based meditation, and some individuals report that it supports vagal self-soothing and emotional regulation, although evidence of its effectiveness is still emerging. The self-havening–inspired approach described here draws on similar elements of slow, rhythmic touch paired with simple cognitive repetition.
While research is still developing and people vary in how helpful they find these techniques, many appreciate them as gentle, sensory-based options that are accessible in almost any setting — particularly for neurodivergent adults, individuals with trauma histories, or anyone whose nervous system responds better to sensory input than to cognitive strategies.
Why Havening Touch Helps
When the nervous system becomes overloaded — from stress, sensory overwhelm, emotional activation, or chronic anxiety — the body often shifts into a protective state. Muscles tense, breathing becomes shallow, and thoughts may move quickly or shut down entirely.
Havening Touch activates the parasympathetic nervous system through slow, rhythmic strokes along the arms or face. This type of touch is deeply regulating for the brain and can help:
decrease sympathetic arousal
soften emotional intensity
reduce agitation or panic
slow racing thoughts
increase grounding and connection
Because it works at the sensory level, it often bypasses cognitive overwhelm and supports regulation even during high distress.
How to Practice Havening Touch
You can practice this technique anywhere, seated or standing.
Arm Havening (most common):
Place both hands on the tops of your shoulders by crossing your arms across your chest to place your right hand on left shoulder and left hand on right shoulder.
Slowly glide your hands down the outside of your arms to the elbows.
Lift your hands and repeat the downward stroke 10–15 times while breathing in your nose out your mouth in rhythm with your movement.
Remember to keep the movement gentle, slow, and rhythmic.
Face Havening (optional):
Run your fingers softly down the sides of your face.
Use a smooth, comforting motion.
Optional grounding phrase:
While you soothe, you may quietly repeat something simple such as:
“Right now, I’m safe enough.”
“My body can settle.”
“This moment is allowed to soften.”
There is no need to force calm — your body will respond gradually.
How to Know If It’s Working
Look for small shifts in your body, such as:
breath deepening or slowing
warmth or tingling in the arms or chest
shoulders dropping
jaw tension releasing
thoughts feeling less urgent or overwhelming
reduced internal shaking or agitation
a sense of heaviness, grounding, or safety
These cues indicate that the vagus nerve is activating and the nervous system is reorienting toward regulation.
When to Use This in Work + Daily Life
Havening Touch is especially helpful when:
breathing exercises feel too difficult
anxiety shows up as physical agitation
sensory overload becomes overwhelming
you feel emotionally “flooded” or panicked
transitioning between environments or tasks
preparing for or recovering from stressful interactions
grounding tools need to be very gentle or low-demand
Many people use this as a first-line regulation tool because it does not require focus, planning, or cognitive effort.
About This Content
This article is part of the Work + Life Therapy Skills Library at WorkLife Wellness Lab. Our approach integrates behavioral health and wellness concepts, neurocognitive strategies, and executive-function–supported intervention to help neurodivergent and work-stressed adults build sustainable work and life participation. The skill contained in this article is provided for educational and wellness purposes and is not a substitute for mental health treatment, medical care, or individualized clinical recommendations. Results vary from person to person. If you are experiencing significant distress, please reach out to a qualified professional.
